I’m back at the whole blogging thing, but I’m not doing it here anymore.

Please update your RSS subscriptions and feeds to the new blog:
http://kretzu.tumblr.com/rss

Thanks!
~chris

This past Saturday was quite the anniversary for Es and I.

One year ago, on July 17th 2009, I decided to move to Des Moines and accept the position at The Gateway Church.  (Or more accurately, we decided to move and accept.  We had already decided we were both “in.”  She left it up to me to make sure that it was definitely where God wanted us.)

Anyhoo.

I posted a blog on that day with some lyrics that have stuck with me over the last year…

Change came in disguise of revelation, set his soul on fire
She says she always knew he’d come around
And the decades disappear like sinking ships
But we persevere, God gives us hope
But we still fear what we don’t know
The mind is poison
Castles in the sky sit stranded, vandalized
Drawbridges closing
- The Killers “A Dustland Fairy Tale”

I can say with full confidence that we made the right decision that day. I can say with full confidence that we made the most painful decision as a family that day.

I can also say that those lyrics have taken on an entirely new meaning to me.

Let me back up and try to explain…

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Es and I knew that our time was done at South Hills Church long before our time was done at South Hills Church.  But we didn’t really start exploring what that looked like, or really even what that meant for us, until March of last year.  We were safe and comfortable, and nobody likes change.  We knew what we wanted and what we needed, but nobody likes change.

So in a really weird combination of waiting on some things and moving forward with others, we found stumbled into a place of hope.  Terrified of where we were going and heartbroken over where we had been.  Everything that didn’t matter seemed to be crumbling around us, and it was painfully beautiful.

Accepting the position at The Gateway Church was a no-brainer in that it was exactly the type of church we wanted to be a part of.  But as we moved to Des Moines, we definitely looked back at the “castles” we had built for ourselves and struggled seeing the drawbridges closing behind us.

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After living here in DesMo for a year we are continually blown away by what God has done and is doing.  Es is working for an incredible, nationally recognized (please vote!), organization called Freedom for Youth.  She gets to work with kids, building relationships between them and mentors/churches in the community.  She gets to help people and churches live out the message of Christ.  I’ve never seen her so fulfilled and happy at a workplace.

Sometimes I still don’t believe the church and leadership I get to work for.  I’ve been given and trusted with so much in such a short amount of time.  Offered total creative freedom.  Constantly given opportunities to grow and learn in different areas.  It’s honestly blown my wildest dreams and expectations out of the water.

Beyond our “jobs,” Es and I have both been extremely surprised and blessed by life here in Des Moines.  We have built some incredible friendships in such a short amount of time.  My favorite part of these friendships is that they are from all over.  We have friends that go to our church, we have friends that go to other churches, and we have friends that refuse to enter a church.  We are actually living our lives and building relationships in a way that we always wanted and felt would be the most healthy: outside of the church walls.  I would be a lying fool if I said that we didn’t miss our friends and family, or even California.  that’s not my message here at all.  I’m just saying neither of us expected to have the community and friends that we do in such a short amount of time.

The church that we are a part of has been so monumental in all of this.  We had a very specific list of what type of church we wanted to be a part of and, to be honest, we’re a little scared about The Gateway Church because it didn’t actually exist yet.  It seemed like as each week passed, another part of this painting became visible.  And as it became more visible, it became more beautiful…and we have fallen in love with it.

I never thought it would be possible to “work” and “go to” the same church.  But this church…this community is different.  We are learning and teaching, following and leading, working and serving.

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In that blog I posted one year ago, I wrote “I ended up on some dock, dangling my feet in the water, and listening to the sound of the beach.  Or more accurately, the sound of God in the beach.”

Every single thing in my life began to change that day, and I had no idea.  God spoke, and the same voice that created everything we see around us began creating again in me.

I could go on and on and on.  I could talk about a million different things relating to the last year, the changes, the difficulties, the surprised, the blessings, and all of that.

I guess I just wanted to give a real update.  To anyone out there that has shared part of this journey with us.  You’re more a part of this than you realize.

And to thank Es for being the bravest, most trusting, and most loving person I’ve ever known.  I can’t believe I get to live this life with you.

~chris

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PS: This is the 287′th blog I have posted.  It has been a ridiculous journey up to this point and being able to write out my thoughts has helped me so much.  Probably more than I realize.  I am at such a different place now than I was when I made this.  Everything I blogged about, how often I blogged (no jokes, Justin), and just everything about this place seems to not fit me anymore.  Not that I’m better than it…just at a different place in the journey.

So this is also the last post I’m going to make on this site.  I’m going to find something that fits better for where life has brought me.  I just thought I’d share.

A thousand miles of pain I’m sure
Led you to the threshold
Of my hearts screen door
To tell me what it is I’m dying for
Gravity comes
Like a cold cold Rain
To lead me to the rope again
But someone is standing in my place

Cause I’m a dead man now
With a ghost who lives
Within the confines of
These carbon ribs
And one day when I’m free
I will sit
The cripple at your table

I highly recommend you go buy the John Mark McMillan CD “The Medicine.”

My other music is getting insanely jealous ’cause I haven’t spent any time with it.

~chris

(Those lyrics are from Carbon Ribs.)

I’ve said this a million times, but my favorite comic strip is Bizarro.  I subscribe to his blog and it brings me laughs every single day.

Well, Des Moines gets a shout-out in a recent strip of his.  Even though it plays into my least favorite stereotype of Des Moines, it’s still funny.

Enjoy! (Especially you, Moses.)

~c

Tonight is one of those nights.

I feel fulfilled.

I feel like I’m living the life I’m supposed to.

I feel like I am living in an awareness of the people and situations around me.

Of course I’m probably still oblivious, but tonight just feels right.

The Harders, the Daveys, and Es and I took three kids out to hang out.

Two of them are from Congo, and one from Tanzania.  All between 8 and 11.  All kids that Es hangs out with at work.

First we took them to Chic-Fil-A for dinner, and since it was dress like a cow night, we all dressed up like cows and got dinner for free.  It was delicious!  They had never had Chic-Fil-A before, but seemed to enjoy it just fine.

Then Es and the girls took Louisa shopping and got her some new clothes, while the guys took Moisy and Swedi shopping for their first pair of new cleats.  They were pretty pumped up about it, to say the least.  They both have their first soccer game tomorrow.  Not that they haven’t played before – they are both actually incredible.

After shopping, we got them all milkshakes, which they had been talking about all night.  Louisa said she’d never had one before.

Then we went to watch fireworks, which was crazy and fun.  After the fireworks, we all played soccer.  That’s pretty much all they wanted to do all night anyways, so Jeremy and I ended up getting a workout from our three kids plus another 5 or 6 that were watching the fireworks too.

Both when we went to the mall and on our way home, the boys cheered when we got on the freeway.  They love the freeway.  Sweady asked if he could leave his window down, and then said “thank you for dinner and our cleats and the fun time.”  I can’t really describe how that made me feel.  Es and I just looked at each other with this understanding that didn’t need words.

It was a great night.  I don’t know why we don’t all hang out with kids more often.  There is no shortage of them, and they really want to – and need to – hang out with some good people.  Let me know if you are interested, because Es will get you hooked up real quick.

The best line of the night was when we were leaving the mall.  Swedi let out this big sigh, and in his thick accent said; “It is good to be in West Des Moines.”

We all laughed and laughed.

~chris

Earlier this week I posted a blog about the show I played a couple weeks ago.  I posted a cover of a Tom Petty that I did, and said I’d post another song this week.

So You’ll find the song below, but first I have a video that is a basic description and reason for why I wrote the song.  The song is pretty dark and depressing, and I wanted to make sure people understood the reason behind the song.

As I said in the first post, these recordings are super low quality, but they are what they are I suppose.

my god is a mute, he don’t say nothing….even when one word is enough
he stands over me, taking everything in but nothing comes out
i was told that one word gave birth to light and everything else
but it seems like one word is a bit too much to ask these days

and my god is deaf, he don’t hear nothin’….not one of the questions that i ask
even when i’m shouting in his face
i have heard some people crying out to him
asking if he’ll lend them a hand…….nothin

my god is blind, he don’t see nothing
even though he sits way up on high
you had told me he was omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, or something like that
i have seen, with my created eyes, the suffering around me
but god seems to have closed his and no longer sees me

~c

So a couple weeks ago I had the opportunity to play a show here at a local venue.  I didn’t know exactly how I felt about it because I don’t do very much music for performance purposes, but I actually had a pretty good time.

I debuted a handful of songs I’ve written over the last 6 months or so, and played some old favorites as well.  I used my Zoom H2 to record, but the sound quality came out extremely poorly.  I think it was a mix of the room, the stage monitors, and a few other things.

Anyhoo, I still wanted to post a couple songs on here just for the fun of it.  I’ll post one today, and one later on this week.

The first song I’ll post is just a simple cover of Tom Petty’s “Won’t Back Down.”  I’ve always been a huge fan of Petty, and this song really lends itself to an acoustic version.  Not saying I nailed it, but it was fun to play around with.

The other song is an original, and I’ll post it later on.

Hope you’re well.

~c

1. You don’t realize what things you use water for until you don’t have water to use for said things.  Which happens to be the current situation at the Windsor Terrace Apartments.
2. Do you ever look at the clock, let’s say at 12:30pm, and start stressing out because you know that 5 o’clock will be here way too soon?  No?  Me neither.

~c