This past Saturday was quite the anniversary for Es and I.
One year ago, on July 17th 2009, I decided to move to Des Moines and accept the position at The Gateway Church. (Or more accurately, we decided to move and accept. We had already decided we were both “in.” She left it up to me to make sure that it was definitely where God wanted us.)
Anyhoo.
I posted a blog on that day with some lyrics that have stuck with me over the last year…
Change came in disguise of revelation, set his soul on fire
She says she always knew he’d come around
And the decades disappear like sinking ships
But we persevere, God gives us hope
But we still fear what we don’t know
The mind is poison
Castles in the sky sit stranded, vandalized
Drawbridges closing
- The Killers “A Dustland Fairy Tale”
I can say with full confidence that we made the right decision that day. I can say with full confidence that we made the most painful decision as a family that day.
I can also say that those lyrics have taken on an entirely new meaning to me.
Let me back up and try to explain…
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Es and I knew that our time was done at South Hills Church long before our time was done at South Hills Church. But we didn’t really start exploring what that looked like, or really even what that meant for us, until March of last year. We were safe and comfortable, and nobody likes change. We knew what we wanted and what we needed, but nobody likes change.
So in a really weird combination of waiting on some things and moving forward with others, we found stumbled into a place of hope. Terrified of where we were going and heartbroken over where we had been. Everything that didn’t matter seemed to be crumbling around us, and it was painfully beautiful.
Accepting the position at The Gateway Church was a no-brainer in that it was exactly the type of church we wanted to be a part of. But as we moved to Des Moines, we definitely looked back at the “castles” we had built for ourselves and struggled seeing the drawbridges closing behind us.
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After living here in DesMo for a year we are continually blown away by what God has done and is doing. Es is working for an incredible, nationally recognized (please vote!), organization called Freedom for Youth. She gets to work with kids, building relationships between them and mentors/churches in the community. She gets to help people and churches live out the message of Christ. I’ve never seen her so fulfilled and happy at a workplace.
Sometimes I still don’t believe the church and leadership I get to work for. I’ve been given and trusted with so much in such a short amount of time. Offered total creative freedom. Constantly given opportunities to grow and learn in different areas. It’s honestly blown my wildest dreams and expectations out of the water.
Beyond our “jobs,” Es and I have both been extremely surprised and blessed by life here in Des Moines. We have built some incredible friendships in such a short amount of time. My favorite part of these friendships is that they are from all over. We have friends that go to our church, we have friends that go to other churches, and we have friends that refuse to enter a church. We are actually living our lives and building relationships in a way that we always wanted and felt would be the most healthy: outside of the church walls. I would be a lying fool if I said that we didn’t miss our friends and family, or even California. that’s not my message here at all. I’m just saying neither of us expected to have the community and friends that we do in such a short amount of time.
The church that we are a part of has been so monumental in all of this. We had a very specific list of what type of church we wanted to be a part of and, to be honest, we’re a little scared about The Gateway Church because it didn’t actually exist yet. It seemed like as each week passed, another part of this painting became visible. And as it became more visible, it became more beautiful…and we have fallen in love with it.
I never thought it would be possible to “work” and “go to” the same church. But this church…this community is different. We are learning and teaching, following and leading, working and serving.
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In that blog I posted one year ago, I wrote “I ended up on some dock, dangling my feet in the water, and listening to the sound of the beach. Or more accurately, the sound of God in the beach.”
Every single thing in my life began to change that day, and I had no idea. God spoke, and the same voice that created everything we see around us began creating again in me.
I could go on and on and on. I could talk about a million different things relating to the last year, the changes, the difficulties, the surprised, the blessings, and all of that.
I guess I just wanted to give a real update. To anyone out there that has shared part of this journey with us. You’re more a part of this than you realize.
And to thank Es for being the bravest, most trusting, and most loving person I’ve ever known. I can’t believe I get to live this life with you.
~chris
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PS: This is the 287′th blog I have posted. It has been a ridiculous journey up to this point and being able to write out my thoughts has helped me so much. Probably more than I realize. I am at such a different place now than I was when I made this. Everything I blogged about, how often I blogged (no jokes, Justin), and just everything about this place seems to not fit me anymore. Not that I’m better than it…just at a different place in the journey.
So this is also the last post I’m going to make on this site. I’m going to find something that fits better for where life has brought me. I just thought I’d share.