A lot of people are quick to say that they are a pessimist or an optimist.  Some people like to exchange pessimist for the term realist. I honestly don’t know what I am.  Towards certain things it seems that I have an never-ending positive attitude.  However, there are certain situations, experiences, and people that seem to become a black hole to me.

I will seemingly get stuck in a rut and become unable to avert my attention to anything else.  Like a black hole, the person or situation becomes a vacuum that just keeps sucking all of my attention, energy, joy, passion, and…well, even my calling.

The one thing that no person, no power, nothing on earth, or above the earth, or below the earth could ever take from me.  All of a sudden I start to give it away freely.

“Here…I will trade you my passion for the opportunity to be bitter.”

“Here…I will trade you my joy because I’d rather doubt your sincerity.”

“Here…I will trade you my attention because I’d rather not focus on what you have versus what God has given me.”

“Here…I will trade you my energy because I’d rather focus on a situation that not only do I not have any say in, but is completely irrelevant to me anyway.”

“Here…I will trade you the confidence in the knowledge of what God (the Creator of the Universe, the Giver of Life, the Alpha and Omega, the Lover of my Soul) has called me to do for the fleeting chance at appeasing my temporary emotions. “

It all comes down to what I focus on and pay attention to.  When I find my self steering towards a rut, do I allow myself to continue or do I jerk the wheel?  When I launch into space, do I try and see what’s in the black hole or do I stay clear?  Because I know what is in there.

In fact, I know what’s not in there.

Nothing true.  Nothing noble.  Nothing right.  Nothing pure.  Nothing lovely.  Nothing admirable.  Nothing praiseworthy.

So today I am faced with the task of firing up my engines and pulling out of this black hole.  It’s definitely not easy, or fun.  And it definitely won’t give me the immediate satisfaction that I desire so passionately.  But at least I know my destination.  I know that I’ve been given what it takes.

So today, Philippians 4 is my song.

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

We showed the following video on Sunday morning at The Gateway Church.  It pretty much wrecked me when I first saw it last, and again when I heard it on Sunday morning paired with Paul’s message.

The performance was originally done live by a guy named Mike Perez, and then he recorded it and made this video.

It is a call to just worship.  Not “just” in the sense of “hey man, why don’t you just worship.”  But in the sense of our worship being just.

The entire thing is ridiculously powerful, but the lines that really broke me are these:

me way drown in justice
and may we be resuscitated with hearts transformed
with hearts that mute the musics noise
because they long for a worship that responds
to the angelic callings of the orphan and the widow
a worship that feeds
a worship that quenches thirst
a worship that isn’t irritated by visiting hours or prison doors
a worship whose sense of smell can stomach
the stench of urine and unbrushed teeth
whose sense of sight can bare an urban crown of thorns;
lice filled hair and bloody nails
whose sense of touch and embrace can loosen the grip of domestic violence
whose sense of hearing and concern can fill the void
shaped by the held-back “i love you’s” that
turned dreams into nightmares and nightmares into realities
a worship whose purpose is to shine outside the dry walls of the church
where a world waits, and a God watches
the question, the challenge; will you worship

So yeah…chew on that for a few days.

~chris

Lent is something you have probably heard people talk about, but a lot of us don’t really know what it is.

Don’t worry, that doesn’t make you a bad person.  (read the wikipedia for a ton of info about it.)

The short version is this:

Lent is a season in which we practice giving up something important in order to refocus our lives on God.  By fasting from certain things, we practice dying to ourselves.  And by refocusing our lives, living to God, we intentionally choose things that help us become the kind of people God desires us to be.

We found a calendar and distributed it to the people at The Gateway Church, but would encourage anyone to journey along with us this year during Lent.  It is a bit different than what you most often hear people talking about, like fasting from something specific for 40 days.

This calendar suggests daily practices for fasting-from and living-to during the 40 days of the Lenten season.

Here is the link to where you can see the calendar, or of course save it and print it out.

~chris

It’s Tuesday…And I’m feeling pretty good.

Here is a picture from the window of our apartment.  This should give you a glimpse of what our lives are like here in DesMo.

Seriously though…it’s cold as heck.

I am so excited about things here in the city.

Church is going incredibly well, and my heart just starts pounding when I think about the community that is forming here.

Friendships are growing stronger, new ones are starting, and old ones are staying strong.

capitalC is coming along amazingly, and I am so excited about what is forming there.

We’ll be back in Corona next week for a few days, so hopefully we’ll enjoy warmth, the sun, and lots and lots of In-N-Out, Wingstop, and yes, even Miguels.  (But just so Es will stop yappin’ about it.)

God is good.

~chris

Today is not a day like any other.

Sorry, Jack’s Mannequin fans.

First off, this will be the first day in over 15 years that I don’t know when the next time I will see Conan on TV is.

I stumbled across this today on Twitter and thought it was pretty cool.

Conan can do no wrong in my mind, but I was really surprised and impressed at some of the things he said on his final show.  Team Coco 4 Eva.

Anyhoo…

Unfortunately, although I believe there is basic truth in what Conan said, I don’t believe you are asking anything special from yourself to ‘work hard and be kind.’

I mean, I’d be willing to bet that you could find those two concepts in your neighborhood McDonalds employee handbook.  And I’d also be willing to bet that you aren’t mysteriously drawn to your neighborhood McDonalds employees.  (Actually, it’s more likely the opposite.)

I have a confession to make.

I think that my faith and spirituality have been watered down to these basic elements as of late: work hard and be kind.  I mean, I’ve become pretty comfortable.  Coincidentally my relationship with God has become pretty boring.  (But I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that it’s probably not an issue on His side of things.)

We have talked about the idea of discipleship multiple times at church over the last few weeks, along with being part of a community and many other things that all play into our lives as Christians.

I’ve had to ask myself some difficult questions:

What is it about me that represents Christ to the people around me?

Do I actively live with the love of Christ, or do I just love people?  And yes, there is a difference.  One of the most loving people that I know is an atheist.  So I guess I could change the question to ‘Do I have the love of Christ or the love of an atheist?’

What am I doing to love my wife the right way?  What am I doing to love my neighbor the right way?

In the way that these people deserve. Or maybe even in the way that these people don’t deserve.

What am I doing to love God the right way?

I don’t know…I could go on and on, but let me try and wrap up and get to a point.

I have been making some very intentional steps to live up to my name.  Christopher = Christ bearer or to bear Christ.

All through the Bible we read about people and places being named because of who they are or what happened there.

I want that to be true with my name too.

I want my gravestone to say “He was called Christopher because everywhere he went, he went bearing Christ.”

I have made some great friends out here…and now it’s time to become more vulnerable and accountable.

I’m not ok being comfortable.  I’m not ok with that. I know there is more available.  There is always more available.

I don’t want to be greedy for the sake of being greedy.  It’s not like I’m trying to get all grabby for selfish reasons.  I just remember times when I have been the least important thing to me, and it was beautiful.

I’m greedy for less of me.

I’m pretty sure that doesn’t make sense, but I think you might get it.

I started reading books again. Starting off with this one.

I realized I need someone that will laugh with me, cry with me, tell me when I’m being a moron, and push me further on.  So now I have an hour blocked out every week to talk on the phone with one of the greatest dudes I know.

I actually have a whole list of things that I am working on and commitments that I have made.  I’ve shared them with a close friend and he shared his with me.

(This is a really long post.)

I just…

I just don’t want to be average. Or boring. Or complacent.

And I don’t want to be Andy Stanley or Louie Giglio or United or Coldplay.

I want to be me.

I can’t remember who said it, but I read somewhere that (and I’m paraphrasing here) ‘God created who I am, and I am on a journey to find that person.’

~chris

A few weeks ago as Paul and I were talking about week three of the Advent Conspiracy we talked about trying to find a song that would go along with the direction of the message. I have been in a bit of a writing drought when it comes to music over the past 3-6 months, but I really felt like I needed to write something for this.

It wasn’t an easy process, and as someone quickly noticed, I definitely got a bit of inspiration from one of my favorite bands on the opening line.

The message was talking about two of the names that we’re given the Son of God: Jesus and Emmanuel.

Emmanuel means “God with us,” and Jesus is a greek version of of the name Joshua, which means “Savior” or “Yahweh saves.” During service we talked about God actually being present with us. Before I played I talked a little bit about how this message really hit home with me because we (Es and I) have really had to hold on to that promise; that God is with us.

Moving away from all of our family, from all of our friends, from 60 degree winters to -20 degree winters…the list goes on. In short, I guess there is just a long list of things that could make us feel very isolated. As much as we know in our hearts and minds that we aren’t, it’s still easy to sway that way. It’s good to have these promises, found in the very name of Jesus even, that remind us that we are not isolated, alone, or without help.

God has been faithful and shown us over and over again that, well…it’s not just a clever name.

Jesus, Emmanuel.

He is with us, He does see what we are going through, and He does hear our cries.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

~chris

(This demo was recorded using a Blue Snowball USB mic and Garage Band as an easy and quick way to make the song available.)

It’s like I’m on a cosmic episode of Punk’d, except God keeps punking me in the best ways possible!

Crazy!

Ok i gotta take off right now. Literally.

~chris

“Slap!”

One of my favorite blogs right now is The Big Picture.  Every time a set goes up there are pictures that make me happy, pictures that make me think, pictures that destroy me, and pictures that help me heal.

Last week they put up a new post of pictures from Eid al-Adha and the Hajj.  The Hajj is pilgrimage to Mecca which is a pretty big deal in the Muslim faith. Eid al-Adha is a festival that commemorates the willingness of Abraham to sacrifice his son, Isaac, and to remember God’s gift of a ram in his place.

This picture really just jumped off the screen at me.

This picture just shows a few of literally millions of people kneeling down to pray.

When I saw this picture I couldn’t help but ask if their devotion to a religion – that I believe is false, hurtful, and devastating – is greater than mine. Do they have more passion than I do?  Do they have more commitment than I do?

The amazing thing is that we don’t need to make a pilgrimage or journey.  We don’t have to dress a certain way or act any differently.  We don’t need anyone to speak or pray on our behalf.

We just have to come to God.

I don’t know…

This isn’t a guilt thing at all.  It’s just something that challenged me, and I am going to take some very specific steps to make sure that this area of my relationship gets stronger.

~c