Yesterday I was on a date with my freaking hot wife.  It has been a crazy hectic week, and doesn’t appear to be slowing down any time soon.  We just really needed some time to stop everything else, hang out, talk, and laugh with each other.

We didn’t go to small group.  I felt really, really bad about it.  Actually, I still feel a little bad.  However, I have been inundated with quotes and articles this week (randomly?) about pastors and leaders guarding their families and relationships.

A tweet from Paul quoting Ben, something Billy used to say (“If you have to cheat, cheat the church. Never cheat your family.”), and then a line I stumbled across yesterday but I don’t really remember where it came from.

You saved the world but lost your family.

For Es and I, one of the best parts about moving to the middle of the country was the idea of being able to slow down, get out of the rush, and just be.  Together.

I don’t want to cheat my wife out of a husband.  I don’t want to sacrifice my bride for God’s.  Unfortunately, it happens way too often.

As pastors, a lot of time we think we are sacrificing ourselves by working ourselves to death.  Especially around big weekends like Easter.  And we think that we will be able to rise back to life after those mega-huge important services are over.  In reality, we are sacrificing our wives and families.  And I think that each time we do this it get’s a little bit harder to resurrect that relationship.  Something stays dead.  A little bit of doubt, a little bit of fear, a little bit of hurt.  A little bit of a wall gets built, because they know it’s going to happen again and they don’t want to be hurt again.

Pastors and churches are my playing field, but maybe yours is banking, music, real estate, or construction.  It can happen anywhere to anyone.

So here is me telling you that I don’t do real great in this area right now, but I’m working on it.

Sorry, babe.

~chris

There was a time that on Mondays or Tuesdays I would post the set list and a review of the Sunday before.  I would talk about the songs, what they mean, and how things went.

Lately I have been feeling that this is kinda one-sided and mostly beneficial for me and other worship leader-types.  (Then this idea was confirmed and became something new through a conversation I had with Jeremy.  He’s rad and way smarter than me.)

I am gonna pull a Missy Elliot and “flip it and reverse it.”  But in a way less raunchy way.

At the beginning of each week, I am going to post the upcoming weeks set list, and link to where you can listen to the songs, and talk a little bit about why those songs were picked and other things of that nature.

My big hope is that the people of The Gateway Church will start to use this as a tool and resource for their personal worship during the week.  Worship doesn’t begin and end on a Sunday morning at church.  We are called to worship all week long through our actions and conversations, through our thoughts and prayers, and yes…also through song.

I absolutely believe that if you and I spend the next 6 days thinking about the words to these songs, singing them (in the car, office, or wherever), and meditating on them in our hearts, that we can have the most sincere, authentic, and passionate worship experience on Sunday mornings.

A few weeks ago Dashboard Confessional was in town.  My wife is a huge fan, so we got tickets.  Well she spent about 2 weeks before that listening to his songs; learning new ones and refreshing her mind with the old ones.  She couldn’t stop talking and thinking about it.  She wanted to make sure that when he took the stage and she was standing there with 400 other people, that she was ready.  It was almost like she was a love-struck 19 year old girl again!

Well, I want to make sure that when we come together on Sunday morning (with the desire of giving Christ center stage) that we are ready.  That we have spent time preparing our hearts, thinking about what is to come, and just plain old getting excited!

So here is my encouragement and my challenge:

If you go to The Gateway Church, listen to these songs.  You can listen to them online or buy the album for yourself.  Spend time with these songs, and let’s get excited to worship God together!

Click here to listen to this Sunday’s songs.

~chris

Amongst this weeks uproar over health care, Obama, and the certain doom of our “great” country, I have been reminded of a song.  This is pretty typical for me.  When something is going on, I overhear something, or experience something, my mind usually jumps to a song that relates in some way.

Anyhoo…

This time it’s a Derek Webb song from my favorite album of his, “Mockingbird.”

King And A Kingdom
Who’s your brother, who’s your sister
You just walked passed him
I think you missed her
As we’re all migrating to the place where our father lives
‘Cause we married in to a family of immigrants

My first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man
My first allegiance is not to democracy or blood
It’s to a king & a kingdom

There are two great lies that I’ve heard:
“the day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die”
And that Jesus Christ was a white, middle-class republican
And if you wanna be saved you have to learn to be like Him

But nothing unifies like a common enemy
And we’ve got one, sure as hell
But he may be living in your house
He may be raising up your kids
He may be sleeping with your wife
Oh no, he may not look like you think

So yeah…those are my incomplete and uneducated feelings about the topic.

~chris

We showed the following video on Sunday morning at The Gateway Church.  It pretty much wrecked me when I first saw it last, and again when I heard it on Sunday morning paired with Paul’s message.

The performance was originally done live by a guy named Mike Perez, and then he recorded it and made this video.

It is a call to just worship.  Not “just” in the sense of “hey man, why don’t you just worship.”  But in the sense of our worship being just.

The entire thing is ridiculously powerful, but the lines that really broke me are these:

me way drown in justice
and may we be resuscitated with hearts transformed
with hearts that mute the musics noise
because they long for a worship that responds
to the angelic callings of the orphan and the widow
a worship that feeds
a worship that quenches thirst
a worship that isn’t irritated by visiting hours or prison doors
a worship whose sense of smell can stomach
the stench of urine and unbrushed teeth
whose sense of sight can bare an urban crown of thorns;
lice filled hair and bloody nails
whose sense of touch and embrace can loosen the grip of domestic violence
whose sense of hearing and concern can fill the void
shaped by the held-back “i love you’s” that
turned dreams into nightmares and nightmares into realities
a worship whose purpose is to shine outside the dry walls of the church
where a world waits, and a God watches
the question, the challenge; will you worship

So yeah…chew on that for a few days.

~chris

This past Sunday we introduced the first worship song to come from The Gateway Church community.  I was really excited for this, and am really excited to see what else comes in the future.

We introduced the song on Sunday morning, but I wanted to give a little more of an in depth explanation of the song, so here goes.

“We Fall.”
The original idea for this song was one line: “we may fall away from you, but still we may fall into you.”  The word “may” was used in two different meanings.  The first being a hypothetical (but probable) way of communicating that ‘yeah, we just might fall away from God and his desire for how we should live’, and the second “may” being used in more of an old english, regal sense.  Reminiscent of a king giving permission; “You may come before me.”

While I loved the message that it communicated, it didn’t seam to communicate clearly what the message was so I changed the line around a bit.

The first verse took shape after imagining a hurting child, a prodigal son type, falling back into the arms of the One who was always there for them; loving, searching, and waiting.  Before Adam and Eve confessed their sin to God in the Garden of Eden, we read that God was searching for them (Gen 3:9).  Obviously, God already knew what they had done, and He knew exactly where they were.  But this line is such a beautiful picture of love and grace.  Before we even could admit the first sin, the first screw up, the first mistake…God was already searching for us.  And he wants us regardless of the scrapes, bruises, and shambles that we may have become.  Just like the prodigal son collapsed in his fathers arms, we can fall into our Fathers arms.

We fall, we fall into You
With all, with all You’ve asked us to
Our broken pieces, our scrapes and our bruises
We fall, we fall into You

We recently did a series at The Gateway Church called “Origins” and on the first week Paul shared about creation.  He talked about the relationship that existed before and during creation in a way that I have never really heard, or at least understood, before.  In Genesis 1:2 it says that the earth was formless, dark, and empty, but that the Spirit of God was hovering over it.  The Hebrew word that was translated to hovering is used in other places to describe a mother hen, hovering over her nest and eggs.  It communicates protection and provision, and an intense jealous love that says “while they are in my nest, nothing can touch them.”

Starting in verse 3 we start to see something reoccur: “God said… and there was.”  Nothing happened without God speaking it into existence.  His Word had power, and in the first chapter of John we see that God’s Word was much more than just a voice…it was Jesus Christ, who is God, and was with God, and through whom all things were created.

God is relationship. God is community.  We have to understand that in order to understand His desire for us.  God didn’t create us because He wanted drones to order around, but because He wanted to invite us into the relationship and the community that already existed.  He wants us to experience and take part in His glory and splendor.  In his message Paul shared a quote by Augustine and said “Unless you have a triune God, love is not the ultimate reality.  Community is not the ultimate reality.  Before anything else existed, there was love and community.”

Your Spirit hovers over me
Your Word has spoken life to be
You are the Maker of all things
And God I ask that You’d make me

I don’t remember if I read it in a book or heard it in a conversation, but somebody at some point said to me that one of the truest way to explain love is this; to make yourself completely available to get hurt.  That basically changed my life.  The idea that ultimate love is vulnerable and sacrificial is both terrifying and freeing.  The chorus of this song is simply a plea to God, “I’ve put up these walls and tried to protect myself, my own kingdom, and my word view.  I’m broken and I’ve broken the way that you created me to be.  Please make me whole again.  Please make me like you again.”

Come break this heart I’ve tried to hide
Please make me open up my eyes
Lord save me from myself, I run to You, there’s no one else who’ll
Embrace my brokenness, You make me whole again

The second verse just speaks to reinforce the chorus and our plea for God to make us back into His image.  To break our hearts for the fatherless, orphan and widow.  To lead us by the hand to the places we need to be.  To actually see the people that we walk by day in and day out.

Please break, please break our hearts for Yours
Please take, please take our hands in Yours
Open our eyes, God, to the people we pass by
Please break, please break our hearts for Yours

(This is a live house mix from our Sunday morning service, so you get to enjoy it in it’s most raw state!)

It used to be that the hardest part about apologizing was…well, apologizing.

I think that the new hardest part about apologizing would probably have more to do with not sending a tweet or writing a blog about “remaining humble,” “admitting mistakes,” or turning it into some sort of egocentric leadership lesson.

Transparency is great and super important, but I’m starting to think that you embellish your mistakes and flaws just to “fit in” with the real people that sit in the seats.

I promise to like, admire, and respect you more if I can just see you love.

~chris

PS: I totally blew it with my wife today. I had to go into her work, apologize, and ask for her forgiveness.  I bet some of you know what I’m talking about…have you ever blow it with somebody you care about in your life? I’ve got three ways that….

I have been pretty absent from posting here lately.  It has been a crazy few weeks of travels, events, and mucho other stuff.

I can’t take too much time here right now, but I did want to post the most epic setlist ever.

This Saturday night is capitalC, an event that I am lucky enough to be a part of.  Essentially it is a worship night.  The cool thing about it is that it involves multiple churches from all over Des Moines coming together and saying “WE are the Church.” Big “c” church.  Get it? capitalC?

Anyhoo, for more info you can check out the website.

So here is the set list. Six different worship teams with a mixture of originals and not.  But I guarantee it will be a night to remember.  We are expecting God to move in just an epic way.

So. Pumped. Right. Now.

Sing Alleluia
Agnus Dei
Worthy
I love you lord
Nothing but the Blood of Jesus
He Was There
Only You
Grace that is greater
Tell the World
Blessed be your name
From the inside out
I’m not ashamed
Beautiful one
Lead me to the cross
God of wonders
Because Of Your Love
Glory To God Forever
Beautiful The Blood
Your Love is Everything
Sweetly Broken
Awesome In This Place
Peace Like A River
Where Would I Go
Break Our Hearts
With A Loud Shout
Overflow
Enter In
Can You Hear Us
From the Rising of the Sun
Love Came Down
Beautiful Jesus
Savior King
Came to My Rescue
Carrier
We Are Hungry
Your Love Never Fails
Hosanna
Hallelujah To My King
You Are God
Closer
Come Thou Fount
All Creatures Of Our God And King
Our God Reigns
Lord, You have my heart
God of This City
How He Loves
With Everything

Will you be there?

Even if you can’t be there in person, if all goes as planned we should have a live internet feed.

Follow @capitalC10 on Twitter to keep up to date on the happenings!

~chris

Lent is something you have probably heard people talk about, but a lot of us don’t really know what it is.

Don’t worry, that doesn’t make you a bad person.  (read the wikipedia for a ton of info about it.)

The short version is this:

Lent is a season in which we practice giving up something important in order to refocus our lives on God.  By fasting from certain things, we practice dying to ourselves.  And by refocusing our lives, living to God, we intentionally choose things that help us become the kind of people God desires us to be.

We found a calendar and distributed it to the people at The Gateway Church, but would encourage anyone to journey along with us this year during Lent.  It is a bit different than what you most often hear people talking about, like fasting from something specific for 40 days.

This calendar suggests daily practices for fasting-from and living-to during the 40 days of the Lenten season.

Here is the link to where you can see the calendar, or of course save it and print it out.

~chris